"I think there probably should be a rule……" — Jack Handey
"I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise, it makes no sense."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Bread Quotes
This quote is filed under Bread Quotes,
one of 1,259 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I was always interested in French poetry sort of as a sideline to my own work, I was translating contemporary…
— Paul Auster
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Art is our chief means of breaking bread with the dead.
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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Acorns were good until bread was found.
— Francis Bacon
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People who treat other people as less than human must not be surprised when the bread they have cast on…
— James A. Baldwin
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To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to…
— James A. Baldwin
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I love all kinds of bread. Whenever I crave junk food, I want salty things like peanuts or potato chips.
— Tyra Banks
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I don't drink milk, and I don't eat bread, pasta or rice. But I eat a lot of meat, chicken,…
— Mikhail Baryshnikov
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In the beginning, Adam was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow - not Eve. Contrary…
— Ezra Taft Benson
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Bread for myself is a material question. Bread for my neighbor is a spiritual one.
— Nikolai Berdyaev
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
— Milton Berle
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A poor man with nothing in his belly needs hope, illusion, more than bread.
— Georges Bernanos
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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
— Ambrose Bierce
See all 1,259 Bread Quotes »