"If aliens from outer space ever come and……" — Jack Handey

"If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this isn't really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our REAL civilization. After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they're waving good-bye."

— Jack Handey

After Quotes Aliens Quotes Back Quotes Bye Quotes Civilization Quotes Civilization After Quotes Civilization Either Quotes Come Quotes Come Back Quotes Coming Quotes Crash Quotes Crash Program Quotes Deep Thought Quotes Down Quotes Either Quotes Ever Come Quotes From Quotes Fun Quotes Gag Quotes Good Quotes Good Bye Quotes Hoped Quotes Impressive Quotes Just Kids Quotes Kidding Quotes Make Quotes Make Fun Quotes New Quotes New Civilization Quotes Our Civilization Quotes Our Real Quotes Outer Quotes Outer Space Quotes Program Quotes Real Quotes Real Civilization Quotes Really Quotes Say Quotes See Quotes Shoot Quotes Should Quotes Show Quotes Show Them Quotes Shows Quotes Space Quotes Space Ever Quotes Start Quotes Tell Quotes Tell Them Quotes Them Quotes They Make Quotes Twenties Quotes Twenty Quotes Twenty Years Quotes Up Quotes Waving Quotes Waving Good Quotes We Hoped Quotes We Start Quotes We Tell Quotes We Tell Them Quotes Years Quotes

397 Quotes by Jack Handey

Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »

More Aliens Quotes

This quote is filed under Aliens Quotes, one of 646 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

In a land of immigrants, one was not an alien but simply the latest arrival. — Rudolf Arnheim
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages… — Russell Baker
Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state. — Ambrose Bierce
Everyone's quick to blame the alien. — Aeschylus
I don't believe that there are aliens. I believe there are really different people. — Orson Scott Card
Boarding school didn't feel like my world, I felt like an alien; people there had a lot of money. — Julian Casablancas
The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all… — Noam Chomsky
There are many Latino writers as talented as I am, but because we are published through small presses, our books… — Sandra Cisneros
I feel... sexier, I think, with short hair. I feel like an alien! — Pamela Anderson
The tabloids, instead of being about alien babies and stuff, it's my triplets, quadruplets, marriages, feuds. — Jennifer Aniston
Wide open and unguarded stand our gates And through them presses a wild motley throng Men from the Volga and… — Thomas Bailey Aldrich
The Alien bill proposed in the Senate is a monster that must forever disgrace its parents. — James Madison

See all 646 Aliens Quotes »