Gag Quotes

54 quotes by 49 authors

In the end, everything is a gag. — Charlie Chaplin
If men are God's gift to women, then God must really love gag gifts. — Maya Angelou
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to… — Jack Handey
They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you… — Tracy Morgan
Easy? You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the… — Kim Cattrall
I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer. — David Mamet
If a footballer presents himself as a family man and goes and has sex with a prostitute, should he gag her? — Nicky Campbell
In this land of unlimited opportunity, a place where, to paraphrase Woody Allen, any man or woman can realize greatness as a patient or as… — Vincent Canby
Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, "Hey, has… — Jack Handey
If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, "Congratulations, it's a girl," I think a good gag… — Jack Handey
If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just… — Jack Handey
I would like to thank the people who encouraged me to draw army cartoons at a time when the gag man's conception of the army… — Bill Mauldin
It's a corny old gag about Las Vegas, the temporal city if there ever was one, trying to camouflage the hours and retard the dawn,… — Michael Herr
The copy of an ad is merely a punning gag to distract the critical faculties while the image of the product goes to work on… — Marshall McLuhan
When the invasion began, the British public was called upon to 'support' troops sent illegally and undemocratically to kill people with whom we had no… — John Pilger
If the gag is complicated, you spend more time thinking about the way you're drawing it. — Sergio Aragones
The U.S. intelligence community is palsied by lawyers. When we were going to capture Osama bin Laden, for example, the lawyers were more concerned with… — Michael Scheuer
I'm a sucker for gag reels and teaser trailers for new seasons. One of the great parts of panels, especially on a show like 'Supernatural,'… — Jared Padalecki
Sometimes you have to gag on fancy before you can appreciate plain ... — Jan Karon
But it's hard to talk about art. Maybe there should be a law against it, some First Amendment gag order like crying fire in a… — Stanley Elkin

Who Wrote These Gag Quotes

49 authors contributed a total of 54 Gag Quotes, led by these top contributors: