« All Most Quotes · Dave Barry's Page
Most Quotes by Dave Barry
- The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
- Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the 'most reliable Windows ever.' To me, this is like saying that…
- The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
- The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the…
- The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
- I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.
- Professional marriage counselors agree that the most productive and mature way to deal with marital anger is to stomp dramatically from the room. You want…
- The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each…
- Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies,…
- Most American homes have alternating current, which means that the electricty goes in one direction for a while, then goes in the other direction. This…
- I shared this insight with some other boat owners, and they all agreed that, definitely, putting your boar into the water is asking for trouble.…
- You've read newspaper stories about elderly widows who die and leave their entire estates to their pet cats, right? Well, your cat reads those stories…
- Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.
- I liked making people laugh, and I decided I was an atheist early on. My Dad was all right with that. We argued about it…
- England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
- I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not…
- San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.
- Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years…
- I would say that the single most important conclusion I reached, after traveling through Japan, as well as countless hours reading, studying, and analyzing this…
- The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to…
- The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains,…
- If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children. This…
- Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you…
- Cyrus Pembridge, the Never Land’s captain, was widely regarded as the most incompetent man to comman a ship since the formation of water. “Who in…
- The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most…
More Most Quotes
- The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil. — Hannah Arendt
- The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution. — Hannah Arendt
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control, and outnumbers both of the other classes. — Aristotle
- Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion. — Aristotle
- The greatest virtues are those which are most useful to other persons. — Aristotle
- Of all the varieties of virtues, liberalism is the most beloved. — Aristotle
- For as the eyes of bats are to the blaze of day, so is the reason in our soul to the things… — Aristotle
- Most people would rather give than get affection. — Aristotle
- What the statesman is most anxious to produce is a certain moral character in his fellow citizens, namely a disposition to virtue… — Aristotle
- My mother is the coolest, most amazing person I know. — J. J. Abrams
- The most deeply personal of my works are the non-fiction works, the autobiographical works, because there, I'm talking about myself very directly. — Paul Auster