"The IRS wants you to use this form……" — Dave Barry
"The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form."
—
Dave Barry
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
508 Quotes by Dave Barry
Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
-
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
-
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
-
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
-
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
-
'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
-
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
-
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
-
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
-
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
-
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
-
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…
See all 508 quotes by Dave Barry »
More Brain Quotes
This quote is filed under Brain Quotes,
one of 4,501 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
It's our hearts and brains that we should exercise more often. You can put on all the makeup you want,…
— Kevyn Aucoin
-
I'd love to go to art school. I'd love to learn how to draw. I'd love to be fluent in…
— Billie Joe Armstrong
-
It's actually amazing because you go so far into another side of your brain when you're studying something completely different,…
— Dido Armstrong
-
Communications technology changes possibilities for communication, but that doesn't mean it changes the inherited structure of the brain. So you…
— Margaret Atwood
-
All relationships change the brain - but most important are the intimate bonds that foster or fail us, altering the…
— Diane Ackerman
-
As the most social apes, we inhabit a mirror-world in which every important relationship, whether with spouse, friend or child,…
— Diane Ackerman
-
Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you…
— Francis Bacon
-
All science requires mathematics. The knowledge of mathematical things is almost innate in us. This is the easiest of sciences,…
— Roger Bacon
-
Working out is incredibly boring. I swear it's true that the bigger your muscles get, the fewer brain cells you…
— Christian Bale
-
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
— Scott Adams
-
The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.
— Dave Barry
-
I personally battled with my own body image for years. I used to tell myself, You can't wear anything sleeveless…
— Drew Barrymore
See all 4,501 Brain Quotes »