Jokes Quotes

2488 Jokes quotes by 1346 unique authors

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish. — Georg Brandes
The only rule was that the stuff had to be funny and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man joke was one of John… — George Meyer
I’ve never taken time off from being an actor. This is the kind of career I’d be so happy to do until I die. I… — Ansel Elgort
At MakerBot, we joke that if we were engineers we would still be on our first prototype. There's something about just 'Doing it”iteration is a… — Bre Pettis
If I hadn't been told I was garbage, I wouldn't have learned how to show people I'm talented. And if everyone had always laughed at… — Gabourey Sidibe
I'm not a man who constantly thinks up jokes — Pope Benedict XVI
It stands to reason that we love chocolate cake because it is sweet. Guys go for girls like this because they are sexy. We adore… — Daniel Dennett
I was just, you know, kind of getting racist jokes, kind of being isolated from the group. So it was definitely hard. I would come… — Gabby Douglas
Jim Pagliaroni joined the club tonight and is going to be a welcome addition. He was describing a girl that one of the ballplayers had… — Jim Bouton
I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from… — Julian Clary
There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke. — Michael Scott
I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one some day. — Michael Scott
Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself. — Peter J. Carroll
When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents! — Dick Bruna
Writing is for stories to be read, books to be published, poems to be recited, plays to be acted, songs to be sung, newspapers to… — Frank Smith
My comedy notebooks are filled with random journal entries. It's all the same. I can look back on old joke notebooks, and know exactly what… — Sarah
If parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out. — Marian Wright Edelman
I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I mean, I'm not exactly sad. But I'm not exactly happy either. I can laugh and joke and smile… — John Green
Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That’s why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money... — Fabolous
Cooking allows you to have travels, adventures and journeys without going anywhere. The running joke between my partner and me is that I'm not really… — Ted Allen
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously. — Woody Allen
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. — Larry David
I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. — Norman Wisdom
Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you, they just don't quite understand the joke that is themselves. — Matt Haig
I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit. — Brian Molko

Who Wrote These Jokes Quotes

1,346 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: