Jokes Quotes

2488 Jokes quotes by 1346 unique authors

With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to… — Tim Vine
The incarnation is “a kind of vast joke whereby the Creator of the ends of the earth comes among us in diapers Until we too… — Frederick Buechner
We have a new joke on the reservation: 'What is cultural deprivation?' Answer: 'Being an upper-middle class white kid living in a split-level suburban home… — John Fire Lame Deer
I've always felt that animals are the purest spirits in the world. They don't fake or hide their feelings, and they are the most loyal… — Unknown Author
I do find myself surprised by the comedy shows that seem to have the same joke week in week out. — Clive Anderson
And I liked pluralist Australia. I got a taste for pluralist Australia. I like, I like Australians and I can't believe that they're going to… — Thomas Keneally
We were almost getting used to playing without fans in the Champions League. Jokes aside though, I think help from our fans will be indispensable… — Roberto Mancini
I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people… — Simon Le Bon
It is natural that people do not want to be involved with us too much. There is no problem down to the smallest egotistical longing… — Unknown Author
It’s a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody’s expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone’s expense. — Richard Kalvar
Nobody was perfect. Not even close. And everybody had wrinkles from smiling and squinting and craining their necks. Everybody has marks on their bodies from… — Katherine Center
Sometimes my colleagues joke and call me Hannah. — Hanoi Hannah
Bettman is an asshole. A frikkin asshole. I think he's ruined the game of hockey. He's supposed to be impartial. He's supposed to speak for… — Bob Probert
All human populations are in some sense immigrants. All hostility between different cultures in one place has an aspect of the classic immigrant grudge against… — Neal Ascherson
Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually… — Aries Spears
I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show.… — Rainn Wilson
I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in.… — Barry Manilow
One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked… — Bryan White
Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public. — Jessica Mitford
Challenging someone is good. You need to do it. Sometimes they don't even realize you're doing it, like when you joke with a goalie, 'What's… — Sidney Crosby
The world is a very serious and, at times, very sad place - but at other times it is all such a joke. — George Harrison
I've never had sex. Never wanted to. Not with a man or a woman or an animal, though my family jokes about it. And I… — Marie Phillips
X-rays will prove to be a hoax. — William Thompson
The whole westward expansion myth is seen as romantic. But its a joke, a blot on American history. — Frank Waters
Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish. — Frank Carson

Who Wrote These Jokes Quotes

1,346 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: