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Jokes Quotes by Steven Wright
- I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
- What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense,…
- Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't…
- I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
- I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.
- I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am…
- Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
- It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke…
- I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the…
- I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely in conflict with…
- I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I…
- People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just…
- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
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- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
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- There have been some very extreme hecklers in audiences whose bile was so hateful and so meant that it would be a… — Jo Brand