Jokes Quotes
2488 quotes by 1415 authors
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Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
— Aristotle
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The gods too are fond of a joke.
— Aristotle
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If I can't face my accusers, that's a joke. We did that in medieval times.
— Lance Armstrong
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If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me.
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.
— Jensen Ackles
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As the old joke goes, I have all the sins together. I am a woman, a Socialist, separated and agnostic.
— Michelle Bachelet
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The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
— Ronnie Barker
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real…
— Roseanne Barr
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I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I…
— Roseanne Barr
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Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that.…
— James M. Barrie
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In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke.
— Lynda Barry
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Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.
— Arnold Bennett
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Gags die, humor doesn't.
— Jack Benny
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Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
— Ambrose Bierce
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The joke of our time is the suicide of intention.
— Theodor Adorno
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I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.
— Lewis Black
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People always joke that 'dog' spells 'god' backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well…
— Linda Blair
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I always joke and say I want to invent a comfortable stiletto and then retire.
— Sara Blakely
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These endless legal challenges that define elections in New York are a joke in this country, and they are the reason why it is so…
— Michael Bloomberg
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Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle... and not just in the sense of money,…
— Bono
Who Wrote These Jokes Quotes
1,415 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: