Jokes Quotes

2488 quotes by 1415 authors

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
If I can't face my accusers, that's a joke. We did that in medieval times. — Lance Armstrong
If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me. — Jensen Ackles
As the old joke goes, I have all the sins together. I am a woman, a Socialist, separated and agnostic. — Michelle Bachelet
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. — Ronnie Barker
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real… — Roseanne Barr
I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I… — Roseanne Barr
Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that.… — James M. Barrie
In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke. — Lynda Barry
Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Arnold Bennett
Gags die, humor doesn't. — Jack Benny
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke. — Ambrose Bierce
The joke of our time is the suicide of intention. — Theodor Adorno
I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. — Lewis Black
People always joke that 'dog' spells 'god' backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well… — Linda Blair
I always joke and say I want to invent a comfortable stiletto and then retire. — Sara Blakely
These endless legal challenges that define elections in New York are a joke in this country, and they are the reason why it is so… — Michael Bloomberg
Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle... and not just in the sense of money,… — Bono

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1,415 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: