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Jokes Quotes by Kevin McCarty
- We all have been in love and all fell out of love... I rather fall in shit then fall in love again...
- She can be beautiful on the outside but a god damn retard on the inside.
- Never get into fights with ugly people, cause no matter what u already won...
- Laugh it up clown !!!
- Try this out make say 3 words in in english mumble some spainish and combine it with a beat... There you go now you have…
- Boobs! living proof guys can focus on 2 things at 1 time.
- I'll have 2 vodka sodas 1 with birth control in it.
- My girlfriend's best friend's ex boyfriend's mother's insurance agent is the winner of my own lottery drawing.
- Thanks to everyone shaving you know what the crab count is down !!
- You want eggs with your jokes or just an ass whoopin.. Kids these days think there smarter than the average bear.. But ill fuck a…
- 6 am: tired 9 am: tired 11 am: tired 3 pm: tired 5 pm: tired 7 pm: tired 9 pm: tired bed time: ENNNNEERRGGYY
- Dear Parents, go buy a calculator and solve your own problems. I'm not a therapist.
- I was drunk when I had my picture taken for my drivers license. That way, when the police pulls me over, I don't have to…
- Fat Chicks always talking bout sitting on somebody's Face.... Bitch that's Attempted Murder!
- When I don't want to go on a date with someone, I just tell them I lost my Visa and Master Card, that shuts them…
- An orgasm a day keeps the stress away...
- When a woman says there in a relationship there friends are like text me I want to hear all about him.. Guys friends be like…
- Im not saying I hate ya but if u happen to get hit by a bus, I wouldn't say I might not have beeen the…
- Nobody cleans a house faster than a guy expecting pussy...
- I don't like to argue with females, I'm simply explaining why I'm right....
- Two things a girl wants... To lose weight and eat...
- I lost my contacts = I deleted your number..
- Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook...
- Me jealous Hahahahahahahahaahahaahaahahahahahhahahahahaahahaahahaahah lmao
- So size does matter from what I heard only 3.5 inches to make a girl happy... Your probably like WTF are you talking about? Well…
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- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- If I can't face my accusers, that's a joke. We did that in medieval times. — Lance Armstrong
- If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very… — Jensen Ackles
- As the old joke goes, I have all the sins together. I am a woman, a Socialist, separated and agnostic. — Michelle Bachelet
- The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. — Ronnie Barker
- I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of… — Roseanne Barr
- I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to… — Roseanne Barr
- Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it… — James M. Barrie
- In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke. — Lynda Barry
- Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. — Arnold Bennett