Jokes Quotes

2488 Jokes quotes by 1346 unique authors

Actors fall into this trap if they missed being loved for who they really were and not for what they could do - sing, dance,… — Gene Wilder
The critics had an image of me, and they wouldn't accept any other.. I was a cartoon character. A joke. — Ann-Margret
I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much — Don Adams
I'm not a comedian. I'm not a show host. I'm a musician. That's why I've turned down offers to host the Grammy Awards and the… — Michael Jackson
Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere. — Judd Nelson
The casting directors that were aware of The Real World looked at me as a joke. It was so hard to get away from that. — Jamie Chung
I take care of myself, which includes dieting, exercising and minimising stress. I joke that I've been on a diet since 1974, which is basically… — Kim Cattrall
I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke. — Billie Joe Armstrong
I have Bob Dylan lyrics on my ribs. I'm a diehard Dylan fan, and my dad and I joke that if I ever met him,… — Carly Chaikin
To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it's kind of… — Sacha Baron Cohen
My favorite Aggie joke? I'm sorry I don't understand the question — Lyle Lovett
I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, “Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking . — Anna Torv
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you… — Adam Carolla
I always laugh the hardest at the stuff you see in day-to-day life. Its great when somebody can tell a joke that really makes you… — Luke Wilson
Remember, if you do the same act for 20, 30 years it gets a little boring unless you've got something else going for you... And… — Donald O'Connor
I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in… — Samantha Bee
But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all… — Parker Posey
Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway — Nora Dunn
In fact, it used to be a joke if you studied at a University — Tony Randall
It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic - another joke marriage. — Sophia Bush
As a woman, I know you're young but you gotta hear it now,the most valuable part about you is your brain. Get an education,don't let… — Sophia Bush
Irony ruined everything Even the best exploitation movies were never meant to be `so bad they were good`. They were not made for the intelligentsia.… — John Waters
I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me. — John Waters
Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a… — Mike Epps
We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media. — Ann Coulter

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1,346 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: