Jokes Quotes

2488 Jokes quotes by 1346 unique authors

A poem is a serious joke, a truth that has learned jujitsu. — William Stafford
Writing a first draft is like groping one's way into a dark room, or overhearing a faint conversation, or telling a joke whose punchline you've… — Ted Solotaroff
I have just been to a city in the West, a city full of poets, a city they have made safe for poets. The whole… — Robert Frost
If you make people laugh or cry about little black marks on sheets of white paper, what is that but a practical joke? All the… — Kurt Vonnegut
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, "pick… — Joan Rivers
I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to 'ripley's believe it or not' - they sent it back and said, "we don't… — Joan Rivers
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers
Why women don't blink during foreplay... not enough time. — Joan Rivers
You know it's time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary. — Joan Rivers
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I… — Joan Rivers
An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought. — Mignon McLaughlin
I think that the joke and the ghost story both have a similar set up in that you kind of set something up and pay… — Simon Pegg
It used to bother me when people called me a pussy. But the joke's on them - after all, you are what you eat! — Jon Schmidt
She'd crack A joke sharp as a tin lid Hot from the teeth of the can-opener, And cackle her crack-corn laugh. — Sharon Olds
First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high… — Stephen Colbert
It might reasonably be maintained that the true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. To… — Gilbert K. Chesterton
So get up, get, get get down 911 is a joke in yo town — Flavor Flav
A good joke is the closest thing we have to divine revelation. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
It is much easier to write a good Times leading article than a good joke in Punch. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
Whether a man chooses to tell the truth in long sentences or short jokes is a problem analogous to whether he chooses to tell the… — Gilbert K. Chesterton
I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard. — Red Skelton
Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke. — Paulo Coelho
The good Lord in his ultimate wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable: hope, jokes, and dogs, but the greatest of these was… — Robyn Davidson
They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and their kind-hearted jokes,… — Anne Frank
All womankind, from the highest to the lowest love jokes; the difficulty is to know how they choose to have them cut; and there is… — Laurence Sterne

Who Wrote These Jokes Quotes

1,346 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: