Jokes Quotes

2488 Jokes quotes by 1346 unique authors

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't. — Jo Brand
Regular panelists on shows can be terrifying. They own that space, and many guest comics suspect they are favoured in the edit, while their own… — Jo Brand
There have been some very extreme hecklers in audiences whose bile was so hateful and so meant that it would be a bit frightening to… — Jo Brand
I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I'm the worst. I like physical comedy; it's where I feel comfortable. — Malin Akerman
Who so loves believes the impossible. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I don't want to go and start trying to make jokes in places like India, Tanzania or Iraq. Afghanistan is not a funny place. — Bill Bryson
The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a… — Bill Bryson
Housekeeping ain't no joke. — Louisa May Alcott
I'm a bit of a worrier, to an extreme. I'll crack a joke, then worry if I've offended someone - even when they're laughing. I… — Sophia Bush
The joke that I make is that there are instances on the TV series that happen to me, - except on Sex and the City… — Candace Bushnell
Somebody would think I was trying to get favored treatment because my ancestors had the name Moon. And that's a joke. — Buzz Aldrin
When things get so absurd and so stupid and so ridiculous that you just can't bear it, you cannot help but turn everything into a… — David Byrne
I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. — Drew Carey
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able… — Drew Carey
So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'. — Frank Carson
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. — Muhammad Ali
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. — Dan Castellaneta
I now have two different audiences. There's the one that has been watching my action films for 20 years, and the American family audience. American… — Jackie Chan
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy… — Fred Allen
I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk… — Dave Chappelle
I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those… — Dave Chappelle
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh,… — Tommy Chong
A joke is a very serious thing. — Winston Churchill
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? — Dick Clark

Who Wrote These Jokes Quotes

1,346 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: