Jokes Quotes

2488 Jokes quotes by 1346 unique authors

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What… — Robert Collier
Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad… — George Bernard Shaw
Even when there's not a joke or a hook, the first line has to be good and snapem to attention. Songs ain't novels. You don't… — Dan Bern
Most of the time, the songs have jokes in them, little sarcastic things, or purposely kitsch or something. So that's going along with a story,… — Paul Simon
Both law and comedy are heavily focused on thought and viewing all angles. To write a good joke, you have to look at a premise… — Unknown Author
When comedy is good, it's jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes… — Billy Crystal
Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them! — Kathy Lette
What am I doing with my life am I living it or am I just going to some hum drum job that I don't really… — Kai Greene
What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and I was always… — Leonardo DiCaprio
My family always says my voice is a gift—a precious jewel I inherited from my maternal grandma, Julia Kate Hudson. My sister and I used… — Jennifer Hudson
Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail… — Bill Bailey
I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something. — Steve Harvey
I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in my sleep. In… — Maya Rudolph
The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. Look at Michael… — Corey Feldman
We’re built to deal with death, disease, failure, struggle, heartbreak, problems. It’s what separates us from the animals and why we envy and love animals… — Marc Maron
A joke that works is complete knowledge in a nanosecond.... — Steve Martin
Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more than almost anything… — Isla Fisher
For April Fools Day, someone played a really cruel joke on me. They stole ALL my mirrors and I had to go hours without seeing… — James Franco
I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass… — Eric Sykes
Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry but don't anybody… — Janeane Garofalo
Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool… — Mike Birbiglia
I don't have to write jokes. I don't have to write insults. If you ask the man of the hour in the hot seat, my… — Rachael Ray
Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke. — Craig Kilborn
It was a strange feeling going into a church I did not know for a service that I did not really believe in, but once… — Michael Palin
I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be… — Sherilyn Fenn

Who Wrote These Jokes Quotes

1,346 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: