Jokes Quotes

2488 Jokes quotes by 1346 unique authors

These two are the parts. The inner silence - the silence so deep that there is no vibration in your being. You are, but there… — Rajneesh
No value is higher than self-esteem, but you've invested it in counterfeit securities-and now your morality has caught you in a trap where you are… — Ayn Rand
The subconscious mind has no sense of humor and people often joke themselves into unhappy experiences. — Florence Scovel Shinn
True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match. — Erich Fromm
The more repression there is, the more need there is for irreverence toward those who are responsible for that repression. But too often sarcasm passes… — Paul Krassner
"You two would make a cute couple," she says as she passes by with a full dough tray in her arms. I don't know why… — A.S. King
It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl. — Afrika Bambaataa
The joke of it all is that you are looking from your true nature right now without knowing it. If you would stop being fascinated… — Adyashanti
For now, we assume that self-evolving robots will learn to mimic human traits, including, eventually, humor. And so, I can't wait to hear the first… — Lance Morrow
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. — Ronnie Corbett
I remember every player-every single one-who wore the Tennessee orange, a shade that our rivals hate, a bold, aggravating color that you can usually find… — Pat Summitt
I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes. — Michael Schur
Why has my motley diary no jokes? Because it is a soliloquy and every man is grave alone. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
You name any horrific thing, and I can make a joke out of it. — Quentin Tarantino
There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy. — Drew Carey
It was a joke, okay? If we thought it would actually be used, we wouldn't have written it! — Marc Andreessen
I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if… — David Antin
Men propound mathematical theorems in besieged cities, conduct metaphysical arguments in condemned cells, make jokes on the scaffold, discuss a new poem while advancing to… — C.S. Lewis
You're going to get violated in that ring. I am going to close the curtain on the joke that is the Audley Harrison show. — David Haye
ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke. — Ambrose Bierce
Happiness requires that we give up a worldly orientation-not worldly things, but a worldly attachment to things. We have to surrender all outcomes. We have… — Marianne Williamson
There's an old joke that you know you're in heaven if the cooks are Italian and the engineering is German. If it's the other way… — David Byrne
I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll… — Zach Galifianakis
If I had to give my younger self some advice, I think it would be that you have to laugh at things-things that scare you,… — Taylor Swift
You should not take prayer too seriously. There is something playful about God. You only have to look at a penguin ... to realize that… — Thomas Keating

Who Wrote These Jokes Quotes

1,346 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: