Jokes Quotes

2488 Jokes quotes by 1346 unique authors

It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience… — David Walliams
I had my electricity turned off three times because I never had time to pay my bills. It was a joke. I'm making a ton… — Sherry Stringfield
Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot. — Edgar Bergen
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. — Carol Burnett
It's a lot easier, I think, to be an actor in a movie than to spin a joke on a sitcom. — Nicole Sullivan
It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about. — Caroline Rhea
If you keep up with pop culture, everybody knows the joke. — Shawn Wayans
The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the… — Sean William Scott
I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because they don't know… — Walton Goggins
Beijing residents joke that to get a free smoke all they have to do is open their windows! — Lee Hsien Loong
There's nothing the people love more than a Federal Reserve joke. — Adam McKay
I believe that a perfect house is like a perfect person; no one really wants to be around them and everyone secretly hates them. Be… — Emily Henderson
I just want you that's it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you — Sara Quin
Mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk with them, laugh and joke with them,… — Ezra Taft Benson
I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people up in as… — Jo Brand
An Egg to day is better than a Hen to-morrow. — Benjamin Franklin
I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay… — Andy Samberg
A comedian is someone who tells the truth. Truth is the set of all jokes told by all comedians in the world. — Piero Scaruffi
One thing House needs Wilson for is vanity. He needs someone to laugh at his jokes. — Hugh Laurie
I've been burn when it comes to my hair that it ain't no joke. — Jenifer Lewis
Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody. — Garrison Keillor
Sometimes I wonder why God ever trusts talent in the hands of women, they usually make such an infernal mess of it. I think He… — Willa Cather
It had more layers than an onion. These writers meant business. There was a level for everybody. Your major could be celestial mechanics, and there'd… — Billy West
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it… — Bob Saget
Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to… — Alex Winter

Who Wrote These Jokes Quotes

1,346 authors contributed a total of 2,488 Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: