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Give Me Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that…
- My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If…
- I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money…
More Give Me Quotes
- The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be… — David Attenborough
- Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- I don't like people lying to me. I don't like people who don't return my calls. I don't like people who won't… — Dan Aykroyd
- I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. — John Barrymore
- Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. — Jack Benny
- Now if the harvest is over, And the world cold, Give me the bonus of laughter, As I lose hold. — John Betjeman
- A friend of my mom's was a casting director so, really as kind of a lark, I had a couple of acting… — Ben Affleck
- I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state… — Erma Bombeck
- During our travels, the Indians entertained me well; and their affection for me was so great, that they utterly refused to leave… — Daniel Boone
- Questioning my spiritual life has always been germane to what I was writing. Always. It's because I'm not quite an atheist and… — David Bowie
- Although I behave in a quite reserved way in my personal life, give me a stage and I'll be as flamboyant as… — Danny Boyle
- I can live a totally normal life and do everything I want to do just as long as I take my medication.… — Toni Braxton