Steven Wright Quotes

314 quotes in 2724 categories

• I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going…
• I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, 'You were a good boy onstage…
• I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was…
• I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the…
• I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely in conflict with…
• I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I…
• Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus.…
• Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything…
• George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school,…
• I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every…
• I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it…
• I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination; I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm…
• I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair,…
• I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself…
• I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art.…
• I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat,…
• I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they…
• I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight…
• I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high,…
• In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would…

Browse Steven Wright Quotes by Category