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People Quotes by Steven Wright
- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
- I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
- I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
- I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
- I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.
- Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.
- Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
- I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going…
- I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the…
- I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it…
- I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat,…
- People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just…
- When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing…
- The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.
- So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are…
- I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I…
More People Quotes
- We don't need youth museums. But we do need holy young people. — Pope Francis
- Most important thing in life is to keep moving irrespective of the facts that you r hurt u r broken or betrayed… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Whenever u get hurt from those people whom u love most don't blame them, fault is not their its your fault that… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil. — Hannah Arendt
- Poets are the only people to whom love is not only a crucial, but an indispensable experience, which entitles them to mistake… — Hannah Arendt
- Sometimes people who want to understand Haiti from a political perspective may be missing part of the picture. They also need to… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life. — Aristophanes
- Most people would rather give than get affection. — Aristotle