Steven Wright Quotes
- I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
- Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
- The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.
- When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said,…
- Everywhere is walking distance if you have time
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?