Best Jon Stewart Words
- After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the… Admitting
- Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic… Bush
- Ralph Nader choose the man with whom to share the responsibility of running a distant third, California activist Peter Camejo. You may remember that Camejo… Activist
- The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker. Eventually
- I don't think marijuana should be illegal. Illegal
- Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN. Cnn
- It's harder to eat meat when you know the animal's name...I have found. Animal
- Robert Torricelli, a powerful fund-raiser who helped raise more than $100 million for the Democratic party, took inappropriate gifts from a businessman, including an $8,000… Admonished
- The Oscars is the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the… All
- Poor Al Gore. Global warming completely debunked via the very internet you invented. Al
- On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks. Average
- Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts. Cartoon
- That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material. Age
- Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you… Breaking
- Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that… Always Gets
- My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin'… Bass
- They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that… Always Throw
- I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the world and the… Bears
- Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney's inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax code largesse, that’s… Advantage
- Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ...… America
- Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I'd rather live in than now, and there is no generation I would more entrust… America
- Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack… Advance
- I have to say, as someone who is not a Christian, it’s hard for me to believe Christians are a persecuted people in America. God… America
- The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the votes for the… Accidentally
- Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented. Devious
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