All Jon Stewart Quotes
- So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with… Africa
- Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you… All
- Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him. Admit
- Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went… Bizarre
- It's like hunting cows Cows
- If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies. Hobbies
- To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak. America
- We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings differently. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complained, we… Blacks
- If everything is amplified, we hear nothing. Amplified
- Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. Choice
- Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people… Character
- We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry. Birth
- Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had… Barbaric
- It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out there. We were… Achievement
- As our larynxes descended, we were able to make sounds with our mouths in new and far more expressive ways. Verbal language soon overtook physical… Able
- You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect. Aim
- What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some… Better
- You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning. Government
- Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates. Claus
- We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox. Fox
- No one is better at not beating America than England. America
- The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church. Baptist
- The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith. Appears
- It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of… Atlanta
- The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too. All