All Jon Stewart Quotes
- The trial of Enron chiefs Jeffrey Skilling and Ken Lay began four-and-a-half years after perpetrating -- allegedly -- the fraud that led to the second… Allegedly
- You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden. Bin
- Condoleezza Rice was confirmed by a vote of 85, 13, despite a contentious but futile protest vote by democrats. By the way, for a fun… Beer
- Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to… Address
- Please explain to me why John Kerry sounds more dickish telling the truth than Bush sounds when he's lying. How is that possible? Bush
- The White House released documents it claims validates the president's (National Guard) service ... When deciphered the documents showed that in a one-year period, 1972… Active
- Spain's new Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero announced he will soon call back Spain's 1300 troops from Iraq - meaning the coalition of the… Announced
- Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge made that critical leap from 'be afraid' to 'be very afraid,' raising the terrorist threat level to orange for financial… Afraid
- Some would argue that the president himself benefited from a form of affirmative action because as a C student, he only got into Yale because… Action
- Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military Alliance Meeting.' Of… Alliance
- With the situation in Iraq growing ever more dangerous, the 34-member Coalition of The Willing are, one by one, dropping out to join the other… Coalition
- In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a… Approach
- Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with… Camp
- After a long investigation the SEC has fined Halliburton $7.5 million for issuing fraudulent statements exaggerating their profits in 1998 and 1999 during which their… According
- The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that the only three… Armed
- President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on Earth. Announced
- Throughout his life, General Wesley Clark has stood up to some tough opponents. He battled the Viet Cong, and went toe-to-toe with Slobodan Milosevic. But… American
- In South Carolina, Senator John Edwards won handily, fulfilling his promise to win every state he was born in. Born
- President Bush delivered his first State of the Union address, riding high on an 82-percent approval rating, and with Attorney General John Ashcroft dispatching agents… Address
- Bush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a… Advisers
- Analysis of President Bush's tax plan has revealed that several elaborate tricks and gimmicks were used to make it look like a $1.35 trillion cut,… Analysis
- I want you to admit that there is such a thing as white privilege, Admit
- The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it’s becoming an oppressor, Becoming
- Much of John Kerry's recent surge has come at the expense of Howard Dean. The situation reflected in his hot new bumper sticker, 'Dated Dean,… Alternative
- You know who talks about race? Racists! Inspirational