Green Monk

I deserve an oscar for the ammount of times I faked it with you

— Green Monk

Behind every great woman is a man telling her she's ignoring him. Behind every great man is a puzzled woman.

— Green Monk

I wonder if fat guys leave their shirts on when they fuck?

— Green Monk

I met the girl of my dreams last night, then Something Inside My Pants woke up

— Green Monk

I Remember When You Would Say sorry, I'm in a relationship. People would say ohh, best of luck. Now all they say…

— Green Monk

Ask a SUCCESSFUL person HOW TO FINISH.... But always, Ask an EXPERIENCED person HOW TO START

— Green Monk

Everytime I see my girlfriends tits they remind me why I pretend to care about what she has to say

— Green Monk

Teenage love is all about making him your's, not her's. (;

— Green Monk

That awkward moment when you trip and you immediately start running, and act like that's what you wanted to do anyway.

— Green Monk

With great power comes great responsibility, . . . . But after Marriage greater responsibility comes without any power..

— Green Monk

Auto-correct can go to he'll

— Green Monk

A punch to the face is life's DM.

— Green Monk

Anyone one can touch you , can hurt you or heal you ! And anyone can reach you , can Love you or leave you .. ¥

— Green Monk

I want a job cleaning mirrors. I can see myself doing that.

— Green Monk

If you're a dude wearing a scarf, I'm just going to assume you're keeping your neck muscles warm to suck many dicks.

— Green Monk

Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.

— Green Monk

You've got to give it to people who wear crocs. Their dedication to dying alone is amazing.

— Green Monk

Life is as easy as a walk in the park . . . . JURASSIC PARK

— Green Monk

Never stop learning .... becoz life never stop teaching.

— Green Monk

In order to raise a child, you must first raise a penis.

— Green Monk

When choosing a girl to date, don't go with your gut feeling. Go with your nut feeling. That'll lead to some butt…

— Green Monk

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.

— Green Monk

Thank you, but my Fingers deserve the award for being funny. They did all the copying and Pasting.

— Green Monk

He used to think that he was fantastic in bed until he discovered that all his girlfriends suffered from asthma................

— Green Monk

They say Dont' drink and drive . Well .... Yesterday I was drinking a Juice box While riding my Tricycle . Yeah . Im a Badass !!!

— Green Monk