We all make mistakes. What makes me different is that I cry after every single one of them. — Green Monk Failure Copy Share Image
Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless someone asked me, What are you doing this weekend? — Green Monk Drugs and alcohol Copy Share Image
I just faced the ultimate rejection. I was masturbating and my hand fell asleep. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Laughter is the second best medicine. Setting things on fire is first. — Green Monk Fire Copy Share Image
Listen closely when your kiddo tell you their dreams. Just puke on them when they laugh. — Green Monk Dreams Copy Share Image
Appreciate Somebody When You With Them , Not When Their With Somebody NEW — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I hate when people assume I'm crazy & delusional rather than brave when I'm out fighting crime in my Superman costume. — Green Monk Fighting crime Copy Share Image
An ex is called an ex because they're an ex-ample of who not to date next time. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I have just Kidnapped myself ..........Give me One Million dollars or you will never see me again! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
If a guy only wants you for your legs , thighs , or breasts , don't date him , give him directions to KFC . — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Why do porn stars tweet pics of their kids? Factory workers don't tweet pics of their on-the-job accidents .. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Look, I'm not saying you're boring. I'm just saying I pay a lot more attention to you when you're naked. ooK? o_O — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
You don't know this but the regret you feel after doing something is your body's way of saying you should definitely do… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Relationships fail because Women Love too much, and Men Love too many! — Green Monk Failure Copy Share Image
Sex is like pizza; if you're gonna use BBQ sauce, you'd better know what you're doing! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When my tweet doesn't get RTed I whisper I don't care what they say. I'm in love with you & kiss the… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
