“You make me sick. I think I’ll have to call out of work on your account. Or have that account closed.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The question is not how much work are you willing to put in, but what are you willing to take out? Success… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Having a job is tricky. You don't want to be so productive that you make your coworkers appear like slackers, and you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Be proud of your work week, not your weak work. Monday-Friday you can find me working out. I have the body of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Let’s all roll up our sleeves and get back to work. Or let’s create jobs where other people roll up other people’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work. Oh, you're sick? Well why dont you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I drive by a business that has a permanent sign that says, "Always hiring." Why in the world would they advertise the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What do I do for fun? Well, I’d love to get into the bank robbing business, but government work is not for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Critique my better work only, because I want to get better from my best, not better from my worst.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I like my job, because while I’m at work I get paid to look for other jobs. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Only men who have crouched in the trenches under heavy machine gun fire, and then rose as one to charge the perceived… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people work to live, and other people live to work. Then some people, like me, are both unemployed and alive (at… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bring on hyperinflation! I want to be a millionaire with minimal work.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“With intellectual labor your hard work is forever, while with manual labor your hard work is temporary and soon forgotten.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You do an amazing job at work, doing work that is your job. Thank you for being a part of Team Redundancy! ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“AI doesn't take any breaks. Plus, AI won't file sexual harassment charges when your boss flirts with it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most employees are like interchangeable machine parts. When they show up to work, there is no trace of the person they replaced,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m very proud of my body of work. You should see it naked sometime.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
