I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't really identify with America, I don't really feel like an American or part of the American experience, and I don't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's the American view that everything has to keep climbing: productivity, profits, even comedy. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
