Flying from the United States to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Nobody in the United States knows what either a "meter" or a "kilogram" is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. It makes no difference whatsoever which… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As a taxpayer, you are required to be fully in compliance with the United States Tax Code, which is currently the size… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The issue we are reluctant to talk about is even more sensitive than condoms. The issue - and I will try to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Nature is located mainly in national parks, which are vast tracts of wilderness that have been set aside by the United States… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Bill Clinton, who, to his credit, has established a clear and consistent foreign policy, which is as follows: Whenever the president of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Ask any real estate broker to name the three most important factors in buying a property, and he'll say: "Location, location, location."… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The more boring a newspaper is, the more it is respected. The most respected newspaper in the United States is The New… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The problem was that Panama technically belonged to Colombia, which refused to sign a treaty leasing it to the United States. So… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
We have been flooded with postal cards from all over the United States and several parallel universes. Just a quick glance though… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The United States tried, by depressing the clutch of diplomacy and downshifting the gearshift lever of rhetoric, to remain neutral, but it… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Actually, there are people from all ove - not just Latin America, certainly not just Cuba, but all over Europe, all over… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
![“The more boring a newspaper is, the more it is respected. The most respected newspaper in the United States is The New York Times, which has thousands of reporters constantly producing enormous front-page stories about bauxite...The [New York] Post would write about bauxite only if famous…” quote by Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/275/dave-barry-222_arrested_the-more-boring-a-newspaper-is-the-more_2143291.jpg)
