I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host,… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Clay Aiken ran for Congress in North Carolina. But he didn't make it. Clay Aiken is famous for coming in second in… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A lot of people in their 30's get nostalgic for their teen years. Then they get jobs in TV, become bitter and… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I love the United States. I have applied for citizenship. I want to take the oath of allegiance on TV. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
These days, young people watch TV on smartphones and computers. Young people with an actual TV set are harder to find than… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There's going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don't even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.” — craig ferguson Copy Share Image
I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
