Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In some hotels they give you a little sewing kit. You know what I do? I sew the towels together. One time… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categorize them, combining them… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Brenda [Carlin] went into therapy and I soon joined her. First we put the drugs behind us, then we began serious work… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? They're always people who tell us to live together in… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you take five white guys and put 'em with five black guys, and let 'em hang around together for about a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The habits of liberals, their automatic language, their knee-jerk responses to certain issues, deserved the epithets the right wing stuck them with.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm never critical or judgmental about whether or not a movie is any good. The way I look at it, if several… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Early in my career I was divided because I had the real self underneath: the lawbreaker, the anarchist, the person who swims… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“Brenda [Carlin] went into therapy and I soon joined her. First we put the drugs behind us, then we began serious work on our relationship. And, in time, we got well together.She just drove through a hotel lobby. Now, that's bottoming out.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8c8/george-carlin-155_behinds_brenda-carlin-went-into-therapy-and-i-so_1119009.jpg)
