“A brick could be used as a way to motivate yourself to succeed. I’m proof that it works. It’s how I managed… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s not that I don’t have the drive to succeed, but rather I don’t have the gas.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When you perform too well, you get punished by winning. This feeling is transitory, and after the celebration is over, all you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to live long enough to accomplish my life. Being me for a whole lifetime will be quite an accomplishment.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I haven’t spent my time trying to duplicate my success. But only because I haven’t had any yet.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s been said that the most successful people are often early risers. So that’s why I started getting up in the afternoon,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can envision your success all day long, but until you imagine its reality, it’s not going to happen. So what are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have all the things I need to succeed in life, including a bucket of unicorn urine.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The first step to running a successful business, is printing out pictures of all the luxury items you’re going to buy once… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Awards represent achievement, and to an extent they show more about who you are as a person than the personal items you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I once got 7th place in a swim meet. Being top 8 is an accomplishment, especially when you consider that including me,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Are you OK with pissing people off to succeed? Because that’s what will happen. Success pisses off the unsuccessful.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do I mind losing? No, because losses and wins are just the bricks on the path to success. Both losing and winning… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy patting myself on the back. But if I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I believe I believe I can succeed, and this belief is the foundation for my belief.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For me, it’s not about winning an award. It’s also about not even being nominated.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Is it better to pull someone, or push them to succeed? I have no idea, but will you be my slinky?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To be the best, you have to be willing to do what nobody does. And today, if nobody reads and nobody works… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wish success could be ordered like delivery pizza, because I’d order take out.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I train for the winning moments, hoping all those seconds off the clock will lead to firsts. I train for seconds, that’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you own the most profitable manure distribution warehouse in the world, you might not like the smell of success.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The man who pulled my winning raffle ticket out of the hat said I was one lucky guy. I guess he didn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sexcess—it’s about sex in excess and success all rolled up into one sweaty ball.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You get used to success and you start to expect it—and that’s when you fail. Luckily for me, I can’t possibly fail,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I haven’t had a birthday party in a while, probably because I’m not really into celebrating myself. Especially not for an achievement… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
