Let me get a sip of water here...you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Actually, I don't care, I drink it… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was never a pipe or bong man. That's California stuff. I was an Eastern roller. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There is a core of loneliness. It's partly existential. Secondly, I was raised a loner. My parents were not there. My father… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
