“I’m at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. I’m standing on the board right now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d rather go into a competition as the underdog. Less pressure to perform, and more motivation.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I feel like having another thigh and calf would give me a leg up on my competition.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Let the best of your competition take out the rest of your competition, while you rest and then take out only that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People say I can handle pressure, but there is one sporting competition where if I were in the finals, I’d surely choke,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You stare down your opponent, lights twinkle, but you don’t blink. This is all you and that’s all him, and it ain’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Competition is healthy. Especially when all your competitors are unhealthy, and hopefully sick and absent during the competition.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
