I went to my old school, where all the kids I'd been with for eight years were about to graduate. But the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Most of the note-taking happens while I'm watching television. It's a broad window on the world, and a lot of things are… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Never underestimate the role pretension plays when it comes to creating euphemistic language. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? "Would you like some… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“Most of the note-taking happens while I'm watching television. It's a broad window on the world, and a lot of things are already established in my mind as things I say, things that I'm interested in, things that are fodder for my [stand-up] machine. And when I see something that relates to one of…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a40/george-carlin-155_broads_most-of-the-note-taking-happens-while-i_754895.jpg)
