I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I did LSD and peyote in the late Sixties, before I got into cocaine. That was concurrent with my change from a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I've just completed a five-year period that can perhaps best be called a breathing spell. A time of getting my health back… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do... I like… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My history of moving away from drugs is not the kind you hear from most people. Certainly not from celebrities, especially those… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you start in the childhood period, when you begin to form a comic sense, it was the radio comedians - from… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The ending of my experience with cocaine came in a periodic way. I would get high less frequently, I would use smaller… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
