You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My history of moving away from drugs is not the kind you hear from most people. Certainly not from celebrities, especially those… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches?… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Regarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
