Mike Kelly [from The Atlantic] called me up and said he could pay me less money. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One thing talk can't accomplish is communication. This is because everybody's talking too much to pay attention to what anyone is saying — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Men generally pay for all expenses on a date ... either sex, however, may bring a little gift, its value to be… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Humans have trouble with economics, as you may have noticed, and not just because economic circumstances sometimes cause them to starve. Humans… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government subsidies can be critically analyzed according to a simple principle: You are smarter than the government, so when the government pays… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A pleasant natural environment is a good - a luxury good, philosophical good, a moral goody-good, a good time for all. Whatever,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Remember, FDA employees are serious about fear. We pay these people to panic about an iota of rodent hair in our chili,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the smallest corners of life - this much… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Remember that all tax revenue is the result of holding a gun to somebody's head. Not paying taxes is against the law.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Road To Serfdom was written during WWII, and basically it's an anti-Nazi, anti-communist thing, but also it's an anti-Conservative and anti-Labor-party… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image