I did all this stuff that was illegal when I was a kid. I drank beer when I was 15. I smoked… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The universe has fascinated mankind for many, many years, dating back to the very earliest episodes of Star Trek, when the brave… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It is an inconvenience, being located in a city where taxes are ludicrously high, where you pay twice your annual income to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
At the height of rush hour, people on the London underground actually say "excuse me." Imagine what would happen if you tried… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Note that both of these papers [the New York Post and the New York Daily News] are big sellers in a city… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If for some reason you are unsure where to go, all you have to do is stand there looking lost, and within… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Everybody in New York, including police horses, dresses fashionably, and whenever I'm there, even in my sharpest funeral-quality suit with no visible… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The more boring a newspaper is, the more it is respected. The most respected newspaper in the United States is The New… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although it was constructed in 1536, the New York subway system boasts an annual maintenance budget of nearly $8, currently stolen, and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
We decide to start with the best-known sight of all, the one that, more than any other, exemplifies what the Big Apple… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If he (The New York Taxi Driver) talked to me, he might lose his concentration, which would be very bad because the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I actually like south Florida. I never lived in a more interesting place than this. I've never met a wider range of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
