“It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a suit, you should still invite me swimming. That’s the naked truth.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t believe she was half dressed. How dare she only be half naked in my presence.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m very proud of my body of work. You should see it naked sometime.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cover up Jude McNude. But despite his last name, he isn’t nude, merely cold. No, I’m… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Here is my naked body. Take a long look at what nobody else can look at. And hurry up, before all the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to sell ice cream to streakers. Well, it could, if those naked runners didn’t leave their wallets… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a pillow, if you first wrap it with a blanket. But if you’re shivering from being… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I stood in the doorway pondering the difference between naked and nude, and the pizza delivery guy probably wondered if I was… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. I like my toppings like I like my women:… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love has a shape, but no color. You’re probably wondering, “If it’s transparent, how do you know what shape it is?” Good… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to represent no, and a blanket could be used to represent yes. If I ask you, “Will… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Don’t kiss in public, unless it’s midnight and you’re both wearing black so nobody can see you’re naked. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
