Love Like Quotes by Jarod Kintz

“Love is like a cookie. Maybe I should have ordered crackers with my condom soup.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Love like you owe nothing, and pay in full.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills.
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— Jarod Kintz

“I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If I told you I make love like a rainbow, would you be my leprechaun?”

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like a banana, and I keep it in my pocket on cold days to warm up my hand.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Mow the carpet, vacuum the lawn, and make love like war.”

— Jarod Kintz

“We made love like three seasons, but I didn’t fall.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.
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— Jarod Kintz

“We made love like Tuesday at noon, even though it was Thursday at 3:00, and then again at 3:03. (I have the…

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like being featherless in mid flight and not even wondering if you taste like chicken. My love must taste like…

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like a free lunch. You won’t find any in this life, because I had yours for breakfast.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I carry your love like a backpack. I only wish your love had a larger cargo capacity, and had zippers instead of…

— Jarod Kintz

“Love, like glue, is a four-letter word that ends in “e,” only much stickier. And I used to eat it as a…

— Jarod Kintz

“Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Being in love is like being lit on fire and having your loved one morph into a marshmallow as she runs to…

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on…

— Jarod Kintz

“Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-legged man standing on a three-legged chair that is…

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I long for your love like the length of a midget.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I walk like I have tornadoes for legs. Let us make love like Kansas.”

— Jarod Kintz

“We made love like we didn’t, only more so less.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I long for your love like shortness of breath. Somebody get me an inhaler!”

— Jarod Kintz

“I make love like I sing—in a choir, alone in the bathtub.”

— Jarod Kintz

“We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?”

— Jarod Kintz

“Sometimes I wish I were someone else. Times like those I borrow somebody else’s nametag. I make love like Todd. At least…

— Jarod Kintz

“I carry on about how much you love me, and I carry on my love like it’s carry-on luggage.”

— Jarod Kintz

“You will know my power when you feel me compress you into a ball and bowl with you. I make love like…

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like a buffalo with butterfly wings, and I’m just the humble man in the jetpack trying to shoot it down…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’ll keep you in my heart forever, just so long as you don’t clog up my arteries. Just so you know, my…

— Jarod Kintz

“We made love like an earthquake, which was nice because neither one of us had to do any work.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Trying to define love is like trying to catch a ghost named Brita in a glass of purified water. It’s hard to…

— Jarod Kintz

“I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit.
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— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like a blanket: it will keep you warm, but it might also suffocate you. Also, it's probably covered with cat…

— Jarod Kintz

“My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I know, because your heart fits perfectly inside mine.
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— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like a zebra refereeing a football game. I should know, because I am the rodeo cowboy riding that zebra.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Love is like trying to wrestle an albino. It’s tough because they’re slippery and all lubed up with sunscreen.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used like love. But not my love, because my love is more like a blanket.
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— Jarod Kintz