I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I'll be honest with you. It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get 'The Tonight Show.' — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I'm having trouble warming up to Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy in the restaurant that comes to your table to… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Kim Jong Un shaved his eyebrows and got his hair sticking right up. How would you like the leader of your country… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old woman, director Roman Polanski told reporters, `The way I look at it,… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It looks like President Bush will be handing over power to the Iraqis by June 30th. That's amazing and not only that,… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It was stupid behavior. And you take a look at the explosion, and it knocks you down and you wake up every… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Any online gamblers here? Well, Congress is looking in shutting that down.There's going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I like that Sarah Palin. She looks like the flight attendant who won't give you a second can of Pepsi ... She… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
