I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out because it clears… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama announced this week that he is going to start sending out his own messages personally on Twitter. And today Anthony… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Women get a little more excited about New Year's Eve than men do. It's like an excuse: you drink too much, you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry went hunting today. He said he killed a goose. He didn't bring Teresa along because he was a little rusty… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown office rent - over $500,000 a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Here's an uplifting story. Congratulations to the Little League team from Huntington Beach, California. Yeah, they beat Japan to win the Little… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republican presidential hopeful Mike Hucka-BS is attacking actress Natalie Portman for getting pregnant without being married. It could get a little awkward… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A lot of people are now criticizing Attorney General John Ashcroft for his policy on detaining what he considers suspicious people. I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Have you noticed how the Republicans and Democrats try to copy each other at their conventions. Like at the Democratic convention John… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush got a little upset with a reporter for calling him 'sir' instead of 'Mr. President.' Man, how upset is he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
US officials have now approved the first anti-obesity drug for dogs. I'm no a veterinarian, but if your dog is over eating,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A review of studies by physicians found that excessive exercise is bad for your heart. Another study says a daily serving of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When President Chirac gave [President] Bush a souvenir statue of the Eiffel Tower... Bush said 'This is great! A little oil rig!' — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
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