Meetings are places where dead ideas rise from their graves and eat the brains of the living. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not mere coincidence that six of the last… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. "Hey, YOU!" are the sea's exact… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you have ever seen the movie Night of the Living Dead, you have a rough idea how modern corporations and organizations… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I read Warren Zevon's bizarre biography, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead." His wife, Crystal Zevon, posthumously published a journal he wrote and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Bill Clinton, who, to his credit, has established a clear and consistent foreign policy, which is as follows: Whenever the president of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I have never had a point in my life to make. I'm just trying to entertain the reader. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be "colonial". — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“I don’t have much of a life now, and from what I’m told I’ll have even less where I’m going. If there’s… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm a humorist. A guy like Paul Simon just makes my life so much simpler. When I was there, he had a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, "Dave, all you do… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Here's a simple experiment that you might want to try if there is absolutely nothing else going on in your life. All… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I love the resource of the Internet. I use it all the time. Anything I'm writing - for example, if I'm writing… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
![“I read Warren Zevon's bizarre biography, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead." His wife, Crystal Zevon, posthumously published a journal he wrote and some interviews with ex-band members. Like [Keith] Richards's book "Life," it's brutally honest.” quote by Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/c6b/dave-barry-222_band_i-read-warren-zevon-s-bizarre-biography_1662776.jpg)
