I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you start in the childhood period, when you begin to form a comic sense, it was the radio comedians - from… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You know something I could really do without? The Space Shuttle. ... It's irresponsible. The last thing we should be doing is… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In my fifth-grade yearbook - it's right up there on the top shell - the last page says, "What about your future?"… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
