Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A boy wrote me once to say that he loved it when the news from Lake Wobegon came on the radio because… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon, and that's probably one reason why we get along… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
