Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
You'd learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I feel it's so hard for young actors; It's a different world that they're coming up in; there's so much money to… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
TV news is as bloody as Shakespeare but without the intelligence and the poetry. If you watch television news you know less… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
When writing loses touch with the beautiful surface of the world, it loses its way. You always want to be in touch… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
