Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
When you're a little kid, your heart is open and tender and a harsh word can go straight in and become part… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Your car, comfort though it be, this little den and dining room on wheels, is a prison that deadens your senses, and… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
All fiction comes from a little bit of reality, otherwise it would have no relevance. The fun is in innovation, take something… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see, say,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Adolescence hits boys harder than it does girls. Girls bleed a little and their breasts pop out, big deal, but adolescence lands… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Growing up in a place that has winter, you learn to avoid self-pity. Winter is not a personal experience, everybody else is… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
