Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Don't tear up the page and start over again when you write a bad line-try to write your way out of it.… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
We writers don't really think about whether what we write is good or not. It's too much to worry about. We just… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A romp in the hay lingers like the first line of a song, but your true love is the one you make… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
When writing loses touch with the beautiful surface of the world, it loses its way. You always want to be in touch… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Writing is the main gig and teaching and performing are sidelines, an excuse for not writing more. Working on a novel and… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
People meet writers and are bowled over when the writer is friendly to them and invites them to his house for a… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
