“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
People do what they are told not to do. It happens time and time again. Here on the frozen tundra, it is… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Travel is the art form available to Everyman. You sit in the coffee shop in a strange city and nobody knows who… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
America of the future will be all malls connected by interstates. All because your parents no longer can their own tomatoes. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
We writers don't really think about whether what we write is good or not. It's too much to worry about. We just… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
When you're in your 20s, your 30s, even, you have - at least, I had - vast ambitions, and you sit around… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
What else will do except faith in such a cynical, corrupt time? When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“In TIME June 7, 2010 On the sustainability of the publishing industry, in the Chicago Tribune: "I think that book publishing is… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“My God, rich people have the time to praise You if they want to, but the poor people are so busy, accept… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“Don't worry about the past and don't try to figure out the future” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
