The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
It was a pleasure to have somebody else be the boss. It wouldn't have been nearly as much fun any other way.… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Powdermilk biscuits: Heavens, theyre tasty and expeditious! Theyre made from whole wheat, to give shy persons the strength to get up and… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A person cannot coast along in old destructive habits year after year and accept whatever comes along. A person must stand up… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I think there's a lot of power in listening to one person talking to you. And this should never be underestimated.One person… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Cleverness is a burden after that. You are supposed to settle down and be a good person, raise your children, and be… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon, and that's probably one reason why we get along… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
